Panic

I was hopping that I can finish the trainee life asap. But now when it is all over, I felt uneasy and suddenly do not know what to do with my life.

The one year of PRP turns out to be a calm and steady path. But when everything turns out to be too smooth, it just doesn't seems right... It is a very difficult feeling to be explain by words.

Most of my best friends and colleagues were posted to the east Malaysia or cities in the northern states to continue their government service. The ministry of health people seems to be to tired with all of us. Non of the appeal to stay back in the hometown were accepted and all of them just suddenly dissapear from my life. We don't even hav a proper farewell gathering before they leave. It is all too sudden, and I think I am still not used to it until now.

It is 2 weeks from the day I reported to my workplace. It is glad to know that I can continue to work in the same place, staying in the comfort zone and ignoring the world outside. BUT these voices in my brain telling me to get out from the place I am familiar with and get out from my parent's house I had stayed for 25 years had grew stronger and stronger. I will ended up having schizephrenia if I still live my life like this.

what I am suppose to do????????????????????????????????